My Heart
by ansd
Summary: *This is my first Fanficiton. Rip it apart. Give me legitimate criticism because I do want my writing to get better. It isn't very good right now, but I hope it will. This is currently a one-shot, but if people want me to continue it I probably will.* Harumi's heart can't take it anymore.
1. Chapter 1

"Dudududu," Harumi said as she continued to pour more and more into her glass. She laughed a little at the sound she was making causing her to spill some onto her shirt. "Ahhhhhhh ma-hic-n," Harumi said, but she quickly waved it off. 'Tomorrow, tomorrow…' she thought as she downed the drink.

She slammed the glass back onto the counter signaling to the bartender that she was ready for another.

"Ma'am, we've been over this…" the bartender sighed.

"Cooome onnn? How *hic* times have I…" Harumi trailed off as she tried to keep her head from slamming into the table. After a couple of minutes Harumi gave up and placed her head on the table. She began to drag her nail across the oak counter lazily drawing circles. Her life. How did it come this? Oh right her. Always her. Blonde… blondo… blondino… The one person in her life that she loved. The only one she ever will. But fate seemed to deal her a bad hand this time.

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves, she loves me not… she never loved me," Harumi whispered as tears pooled in her eyes. She continuously turned the glass as the ice swiveled with every turn slowly melting. She almost didn't even register the door slamming open if it wasn't the person's bright quite literally, at least in her eyes, shining. The person's eyes scanned around the dinky bar until they locked onto to Harumi.

With a sigh Yuzu practically ran to her. As she approached Harumin gripped the glass as tightly as she could. 'Not this time…' Harumi thought as the blonde approached her.

"Harumi… Again?" Yuzu sighed. Harumi shrugged. After all this isn't the first as it sure as hell would not be the last. Drinking helped too much.

"Bet… bet… betterrr th-an drugs am I rit…" Harumi replied as she continued turning the glass. Yuzu took a seat next to her best friend. Ever since the wedding, Harumi wasn't her Harumin anymore. Her eyes lost her fire, her spark. Everyday she slowly saw her friend fall deeper and deeper. Everyday she would leave earlier and earlier. And everyday Yuzu would she more and more wasted than the last time. Every time Harumin promised she would just go back to drinking again. And again. And again; the endless cycle repeating itself over and over again.

"Harumi. Do you remember what you promised me last time?" Yuzu asked as she waved to the bartender. Bartender waved back and continued cleaning glasses.

"To not drink," Harumin answered.

"And what did you do?" Yuzu asked.

"Drink." Harumi responded. Yuzu sighed. 'As blunt as ever…' Yuzu thought as she pulled out her phone. She texted to Mei that it was going to be a while.

*Hey. Harumi. Found her, but this one is gonna take a while*

*Do you need me to help?*

*Yea… she seems really drunk this time…*

*Of course. I'm on my way*

"Mei right…" Harumi said answering her own question.

"Yeah… She'll be coming to help me take you hom-" Harumi picked up the closest empty bottle and smashed it against the table. Yuzu yelped in shock as she moved back to stop the shards from hitting her.

"HARUMI? WHAT THE HELL?" Yuzu yelled as the bartender sighed. Harumi shrugged and placed her head back on the table, but before she could Yuzu grabbed the hand Harumin had used.

"Harumi! Jesus christ!? What the hell is going on with you?" she asked. Harumi didn't look at her in the eye. She didn't want to look into the eyes of the one she loved. As Yuzu inspected her hand, Harumi thought back to all the times that Yuzu and she would hug. She craved the brief contact and loved it every single time, but after the wedding, she knew she would never to feel the rest of her.

"Your bleeding Harumi! Jesus Christ you could've seriously hurt yourself! I can't beli- Oh man this one is really bad- Akira towels please?" Yuzu sputtered as she began to pick the shards out of her hand. Akira brought a stack of towels and sighed. 'More cleaning tonight… Yay…' Akira thought. Yuzu grabbed one and began to clean Harumin's hand. She sighed as she used towel after towel. "Harumi… What happened to you?" Yuzu said as she looked at Harumi. "Harumi… look at me… please… You're breaking my heart…" Yuzu pleaded. Harumi couldn't. She just couldn't deal with this torture anymore. 'I'm… I'm… I'M BREAKING YOUR HEART?' Harumi thought. She stared at Yuzu straight into her yellow eyes Yuzu stared at her stunned. 'Shit… I said it out loud,' Harumi thought.

"Harumi… Yes… you are," Yuzu said as stared back.

"Your… your heart… My… my… my heart. What about my heart? Wha-wha-what about what you've done to me. To my heart. I-I-I-I-I…" Harumi stopped.

Yuzu asked softly, "What did I do to your heart?"

Harumi snapped, "YOU BROKE IT YOU BITCH YOU BROKE IT IN TWO YOU FUCKIN BROKE IT MEI YOU BOTH OF YOU FUCKIN BROKE IT. I CAN'T EVEN- I CAN'T EVEN… FUCK YOU FUCK MEI FUCK YOU BOTH… I HATE YOU I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I-" Harumin stopped and tears just kept rolling down her face. She loved her. She loved Yuzu. But now. Now she could never have her. "I… I…" Harumi wanted to be sorry wanted to say that she could never hate either, but she couldn't. Right now she felt nothing, but pure hatred. An unfair world where she would never find anyone and even if she did she knew she couldn't love them.

Between her sobs Harumi gasped, "I love you… I love you so much… I love you..." Yuzu stared at her shocked. She couldn't respond, there was no answer to this problem. Nothing she could do even if she wanted. Yuzu tried to give Harumi a reassuring hug, but she shrank away.

Yuzu heard the door open and as she glanced up she saw Mei. She simply mouthed, "What happened?" Yuzu shook her head. She didn't even know.


	2. Chapter 2

Yuzu looked at the rearview mirror once again. She had been like that for minutes now. No sound, no movement the only thing Yuzu could notice was her hazel eyes. The only thing left that still sparkled. Mei grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Yuzu smiled at the contact moving her eyes from the mirror to Mei. Mei turned and gave her a reassuring smile. "She'll be fine. I know she will." Mei reassured as she turned her eyes back to the road. Yuzu gave a half-hearted smile towards Mei.

 **She hoped to god that things would get better, but she didn't know.** 'I have to tell Mei eventually…' Yuzu rubbed her face. The frustration of the situation was getting to her and despite her infinite optimism, she couldn't help, but feel the hopelessness of the situation. She loved Mei, the was no answer or question about it because it was a fact of the universe. But Harumi… she was devastated. Yuzu couldn't bear the sight of her friend dying in front of her. Breaking apart bit, by bit.

She sighed again. 'Later, later, I'll do it later.' She couldn't afford to do something rash lest it upset Harumi. Yuzu found herself slowly drifting to sleep as street light after street light passed by.

Mei looked at the rearview mirror. Harumi had finally nodded off with her head on her chest. Her eyes softened. 'She looks so peaceful now.' Mei turned and glanced at Yuzu. She smiled at the sight of her wife with her face pressed against the glass. As she turned her eyes back toward the road she quietly began listing off things that she had to. It calmed, gave her a sense of order in a world of ever-increasing chaos.

She looked at the rearview mirror one last time before sighing. 'It's going to a long night…'

* * *

The tires kicked up gravel as Mei parked the car. She turns the keys and the engine goes silent. She sinks into the leather seat and sighs. She nudges Yuzu a little trying to get her to stir. After a couple more nudges Yuzu finally wakes with a yawn. Mei chuckles a little. 'Cute.' Yuzu turns her eyes to Mei, "So. Who is going to bring her up?" Mei looks in the rearview mirror and looks at Harumi. She's out cold at this point and doesn't seem to be waking anytime soon. "I'll do it. You're tired. You'll probably end up dropping her." Yuzu chuckles softly at Mei's blunt remark. "You're probably right." Yuzu kisses Mei on the cheek. "Thanks love."

* * *

Mei wraps her arms around Harumi and heaves picking her up as Yuzu fumbles with the front door. As Mei walks toward the door Harumi stirs a little and whispers,"Yuzu… love… you…"


	3. Chapter 3

***So I'm trying to work on pacing. Feels as though the story is moving too fast. I'm going to try to slow it down and after my tests I'll work a lot more on this. My apologies for the fast pacing once again. I'll probably rewrite most chapters again when I finish writing the whole story.***

* * *

Mei tensed at little at those words. 'Don't worry.' the voice told her. She agreed with the voice as she carried Harumi to the guest bedroom. She had nothing to be worried about. Harumi may have always been close to Yuzu, but it was nothing like the bond they shared. Mei smiled at this.

As she gently placed Harumi on the bed and took out a spare blanket lying it on top of Harumi. She quietly left the room and head to Yuzu. She turned the doorknob and entered the bedroom. She smiled as she saw her wife fast asleep on the bed. She quickly changed and nudged Yuzu a little before climbing into bed with her. She turned to look at Yuzu one more time before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

Mei woke up, not to the sound of an alarm, but of hurling. She sighed as she began to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She turned to wake Yuzu before seeing that her side was empty. She shrugged and began to change. She quietly entered the bathroom to see Yuzu holding Harumi's hair back and rubbing her back as she continued to hurl. Yuzu turned at looked at Mei whispering, "Good morning."

"I'll get some water," Mei said as she quietly made her exit.

When Mei entered the bathroom she saw Yuzu patting Harumi's back as she was still slumped over the toilet. She quietly walked to Yuzu tapping her on the shoulder. "Water?" Mei asked handing the glass to Yuzu. "Why are you asking her? I'm the one who needs it," Harumi said as she finally lifted her head out of the toilet. "I'm surprised you can talk," Mei replied as she leaned against the sink. "Glad to know your concerned," Harumi said as she took the water from Yuzu downing it. When she finished she handed the glass back to Yuzu and tried to stand up, but her legs wobbled. Mei walked over and grabbed Harumi's arm to prevent her from falling back.

The feeling of Mei's fingers on Harumi's made her eye twitch slightly, but Harumi let her touch her anyway. "Are you okay?" Mei asked. "Yeah. I'm fine," Harumi said as she regained her footing. Mei let go allowing Harumi to move freely. The first thing she did was walk right out of the bathroom. Yuzu sighed. "You've been doing that a lot lately," Mei pointed out as she sat next to Yuzu. "I know, but… I can't help it… Especially with this… with her," Yuzu said as she intertwined her fingers. Mei squeezed her hand and held it firmly. "Come on, we should probably get her to brush her teeth before she ransacks the kitchen." Yuzu chuckled and let Mei lead the way.

As they walked down the stairs they found Harumi with her head down on the breakfast bar. "Kill me," Harumi said when she heard them enter. Yuzu chuckled as she sat next to Harumi. "There there," Yuzu said as she patted Harumi's head. Mei looked at them and tensed again. 'Don't worry.' Mei thought. 'You have no reason to not trust Yuzu. To not trust Harumi.'

"Hey Mei. Can you make us breakfast?" Mei was slightly startled before regaining her composure. "Of course. Let me just clean up first."

"I'll be up there soon." Yuzu said as she saw Mei walk up the stairs. When she was out of sight she sighed. "Harumi…"

"Not now. Please not now. I-I know. I-I-I-I wa-was drunk you know nothingnothinglikethatIdidn'tmeananythingYuzuIdidn'tmeananything-"

"Harumi… We have to… If not now then when?"

"Please Yuzu please. I don't wanna I don't wanna…"

"Harumi. We have to talk about it."

"I know I know I know…"

"We can't dance around the topic…"

"I know…" Yuzu turned to face Harumi. "Please put your head up. Please?" Yuzu asked as she continued to rub Harumi's back.

"No…" Yuzu sighed. "Okay… Look we'll talk about it later. Okay?"

"Okay…" Harumi said as she finally lifted her head up. Her face was covered only for Yuzu to see tears drip onto the counter. Yuzu herself teared up a little.

"It's going to be okay Harumi," Yuzu said as she tried to hug Harumi. However, Harumi inched away. "You always say that… It never is…"


	4. So this

* **So I'm working on chapter 4 (kind of), but you know** school **, tests, finals, homework, projects, tests, life. Regardless, I have been working on other stuff and I'm putting it on here for now because there really is no other place to put this. If you read webtoons I'm pretty sure you've heard of unOrdinary. I binge read it over the weekend and OH MY GOD MY EYES. IT'S MAKING ME BLIND AS HOW BEAUTIFUL IT IS! AND IT'S SO GOOD GO CHECK IT OUT NO SERIOUSLY DO IT! DO IT! Anyways so I'll be posting random stuff here time to time as well as the chapters. So yeah. In order to understand the random unOrdinary fanfiction then I highly suggest you read the webtoon. It is NOT a waste of time. Good stuff.** *


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